Author's note: This is a stream of consciousness I did recently. When I did this, I thought of Milwaukee, with all the skyscrapers, buildings, and ramps. I also thought a little of New York City, and how it is "the city that never sleeps." I tried to use some repetition in this piece.
Looming giants fill the streets,
We appear as ants,
Ants appear as nothing,
Skyscraper after skyscraper cut into the sky,
Clouds feel closer than their tips,
Different ramps wind within each other like snakes.
We ride up and down and around,
Seemingly endless roads,
Walking around, the scene ablaze with activity,
Civilians hustling from work to home and back again,
Taxis pop out more frequently than cars do,
Going to and from,
From and to,
Ride up, up, up the elevator,
Walk up, up, up the stairs,
At the top of the giant,
I feel so small,
So out of place,
On top of the world it seems,
I can see it all.
Building to building,
City to city, place to place,
The world feels in my reach.
Windy, cloudy, sunny, I can find it all.
So different up here, like floating.
Then we stop,
Sucked into the city itself,
Like we are one.
This was a cool poem and I liked how you used repetition. It made the poem very enjoyable to read. Was this a stream of consciousness you did on your own or was it in class?
ReplyDeleteYou definitely achieved your goal of using repetition, but that's not all, you used it well! I really like this poem, how you took something as uninteresting as a big city (well I guess they can be interesting but for the most part they are pretty bland) and made it into something as interesting as this poem. I like how you related people to looking like ants compared tot he big sky.
ReplyDeleteI love this poem. I like how you compare a skyscraper to a giant and humans to ants. And I really like the ending a lot, and like Ryan said the way you used repetition was really interesting, in a good way.
ReplyDeleteI liked this poem a lot and how you used repetition, as well as semantic devices such as similes and metaphors, I though that produced a cool and interesting effect.
ReplyDeleteThe repetition was excellent, as said before, and I think it gave it a really cool effect. And like 'THE blog' mentioned, I think that the literary devices made it even better. Nice job
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