My Sister's Keeper: Keep the Faith

Author's Note: This is my response for My Sister's Keeper.  I chose to write more of an opinionated response because this is a very controversial book.  The entire premise centers around a question that many would struggle with.  I gave my input on the decisions made in the book, as well as what I would have done, and some of my personal experiences.  It was kind of difficult reading about such a tough topic, simply because it could go a lot of different ways.  Please feel free to leave your own opinions on the subject.

What would you do if you found out your first daughter had acute promyelocytic leukemia? What if you knew that the only way to save her was to endanger your other daughter?  You try and find some kind of compromise, some way to avoid it, but there is no other option.  What would you do if you had to choose?

For most parents, their biggest responsibility is keeping their children safe.  They try to protect, to comfort, to be a role model, but honestly, there is never going to be a way to keep every single human being safe.  All Sara Fitzgerald wanted was a normal life, with a normal family and a healthy environment.  As it turns out, these things would not become her scenario.  At the age of three, her first daughter, Kate, was diagnosed with acute promyelocytic leukemia.  This is a cancer that has a very low survival rate.  With Kate's life in jeopardy, she is in desperate need of donor blood cells, but none of her family members are a match.  Now, Sara is faced with a choice:  let her only daughter die, or conceive another child as a donor that matches her.  Often we overlook these cross-road moments, these times that we think will never happen, but they always find a way of popping up.  The path we choose to take may decide the direction our life takes, which of course adds to the pressure.  Why does God do this to us?  If there is such a thing as love, why is there painful moments, painful decisions, like these?  This is a question that people spend a life-time struggling with, but if you ask me, the answer is simple: Faith.  God has a plan for all of us, and if there is such a thing as love and pain, we have to have faith that He will help us find a way.   

When I was little, and I knew that there was something going on, I would ask my mom and dad.  Like any other typical parents, they would either say "Oh, nothing honey," or "Don't worry about it, it will be all right."  At that age, I was pretty curious, or more specifically, nosy, so this never really satisfied me.  Even now, I like knowing what happens around me, even if it has nothing to do with me, but I believed them then because I needed something to believe in.  When Sara first found out that Kate had this disease, she knew that this was not okay, but, just like my parents would have, she told Kate that everything would be okay.  Children look up to and admire their parents,  and what would they think if their parents told them it wouldn't be okay?  Parents shield their children because they want them to hold on to their childhood, to their innocence as long as they can.  Children put their faith in their parents, and parents hope that they can have faith in themselves.

If any of us are ever to overcome our problems, it will have to start with trust.  Sometimes it may not end up the way we thought it would, but we still have to trust that it might.  When Sara and her husband Brian were presented with this crossroad, they did what they had to do:  They gave birth to a daughter that would help save Kate.  When Anna, their new child, was born, she had to have faith even then.  She served as a donor for her sister all throughout their lives, and even if she didn't like it, Anna had to trust that her parents knew what they were doing.  Some people may criticize this decision, but I don't.  Although Anna was born because of her sister, this is a choice that any parent would do.  If they loved their child, they would want to save them.  Does that make it wrong to do what they did?  Maybe, but they were doing what they felt was right.  Sara and Brian did their best; does that make it wrong?  Parents have to try, because if they don't, their children will suffer more than they will.

Ultimately, there isn't really an answer to what's wrong and what's right.  When I become a parent, I want to be able to keep my child safe, whatever the cost.  I'm not saying that it was right to have a daughter just for that purpose, but I shouldn't be one to judge.  Fortunately, no one in my family has ever had cancer, (knock on wood) so I wouldn't know how to react if I found out someone close to me had APL.  There is no predetermining how anyone will react to whatever is thrown their way.  I know I would be upset, but if there is a God out there, I would put my faith in him, and pray that He has a greater plan.  I want to be able to be there for my child, but I can't do that unless I have faith in the choices I make, and that I am able to overcome the obstacles.  We have to trust that we will make it out, because if we don't, there is nothing to believe in.  If there is nothing to believe in, there is no point in trying.